


In wich there is Pie, and Castiel knows EVERYTHING.

by spiderusama



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Parody, Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 06:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderusama/pseuds/spiderusama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OH NOES. Dean has just found out that Sam has been writing slashy fanfictions about him and Castiel. What will Dean do now? How will Sam react to his secret being exposed? And most inportantly, will Stan ever get a date for the prom that is tomorrow? You will find out everything about that, and much more, in this brilliant fanfiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In wich there is Pie, and Castiel knows EVERYTHING.

**Author's Note:**

> Editors note; Do not take this seriously. If you do, I will have to hunt you down with an angry painting of Oscar Wilde looking wise.
> 
> Also, ignore ALL of the bad English or I... Well, I belive you are pretty familiar with my angry portrait of Oscar Wilde, aren't you?

One day, a very nice and sunny day, Dean rushed into Sam's room. Dean’s eyes were angry and Sam knew he was now in deep trouble. A Dean-shaped trouble.  
"Eeehm... bro, you have some pie around your mouth" Sam said, in a very uncertain tone.  
"I don't care about pie NOW!" Yelled Dean, in an overly-dramatic way.  
"The pie in your hand says otherwise" Sam countered, just as over-dramaticly.  
Dean sat down on the bed, his expression completly changed now.  
"Sam. We need to talk about your... Fanfics. How long has it been going on?"  
Sam felt tears burning behind his eyelids.  
"I'm sorry. It was a secret. I thought you would never hear of them!"  
"Maybe not, but now I did!" Dean said, now even more angry, and squeezed, ALMOST broke the pie in his hand (luckily for him, he did not).  
"What happened to you, Sam?" He asked, his eyes all sad now (Almost breaking his pie had calmed him down a bit).  
"I don't know! It was after Jessica died and I watched gossip girl and I..."  
"YOU ARE WATCHING GOSSIP GIRL?!" Dean yelled, once again very, very angry.  
"I thought you knew! But can I continue?!"  
"...Okay then." said Dean, somewhat calmer again.  
"I started writing fanfics about Nate and Chuck bass ..."  
"Wait. Wait wait wait. Whoa. Seri.... YOU SHIP CHUCK AND NATE!?? AND ON TOP OF THAT, YOU WRITE FANFICTIONS ABOUT THEM?!? WHAT?!" Screamed Dean, his eyes nearly popping out from their eyesockets.  
"I didn't know you watched Gossip Girl, Dean!"  
Dean got very pale.  
"I don't!"  
"In any case, the fic’s got very popular. It had one million pagevievs in one month. One month, Dean! So I started a blog, and soon, I had written several fanfics about you and Cas... "  
"No Sam, you do not say that…" Said Dean sitting with his head in his hands, in a very depressed manner.  
"But there was so damn much UST going on between you and him! I had to do something, otherwise I'd be going crazy! Haven’t you seen how he looks at you! And you at him, for that sake!"  
"Sammy, there's a time and place…"  
"The time is right now, bro! And anyway, I also think Cas is damn hot... "  
"Sam, don't ”Bro” me. Only I am allowed to do so. And my pie. But think about Gabriel! I thought you liked him? "  
'... Gabriel is also nice. I like angels. They are cute."  
"You're a sick bastard. And, yeah, back to the subject... Those Destiel fanfics...!  
Your blog Is full of them! Why are there so many!? And there was this one..."  
"Dean, I was drunk one night and ..."  
"YOU CAN'T WRITE SOMETHING THAT LONG IN ONE NIGHT! I KNOW HOW FAST YOU WRITE SAM! And, I swear on the Holy Spirit Of The Pie, it's not THAT fast! "  
"I'm sorry Dean, I don't know what to say."  
"SAY THAT YOU STOP AND NEVER WRITE MORE!"  
"I ... can't. Fanfic's are my life now, and if I would stop... I have no idea what would happen to me."  
"Other than that, you forgot the pie! You are a fucking disgrace."  
"IT WAS IN SEASON FOOOOUUUUUR!" Sam screamed, his voice going up to falsetto.  
"I can never forgive anyone who forgets the pie. Ever."  
"Is this what it's all about? The pie? "Sam's eyes were now worried.  
"IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE PIE! EVERY SECOND, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY HOUR! I SEE IT IN ALL OF THE DISHES! IN THE FACES OF SMAL CHILDREN! EVERYWHERE, SAM! AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT! "  
"Dean, why must it always be about pie?! I thought it was about my fanfics!"  
"THE PIE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FANFICS!” Dean Screamed and then violently started to eat te pie he had been clutching in his hand like a lifeline. The crumbs from it formed a beard on his chin.  
"NOW YOU WILL RUN TO THE NEAREST CONVINIENCE STORE AND BUY SOME CHOCOLATE MILK. I WANT TO GET DRUNK!"  
"NO! YOU SWORE THAT YOU NEVER WOULD DRINK IT AGAIN! NOT AFTER STOCKHOLM! "  
"BUT THIS IS WORSE THAN STOCKHOLM, dammit" Dean had had enought. He voilently struck his fist on the table, destroying Sam’s framed photo of Ruby.  
"Hey, that’s my favorite picture of Ruby! I like Ruby.”  
"She has killed THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, SAM!" Dean said in his usual concerned and angry ”I-have-had-enought-tone”  
"...I like Ruby. She is pretty, And ALMOST as good looking as Castiel.” Sam said in a factual way.  
"Yeah, in her dreams. No one is as attractive as Castiel. Not even me. "  
"But I thought you ..."  
"Not a word, Sam."  
"But..."  
"Not a word."

Suddenly, there was a bright light, and Castiel appaered from thin air.  
"I heard you mentioning me, what is it about?"  
"Pie" said Dean seriously.  
"I know everything. It was not just pie you where talking about. Sam, how are things going with your fanfics?  
"SO YOU ALSO KNOW ABOUT THEM!" Dean yelled, somewhat high-pitched.  
"I am an angel of Thy Lord. I know everything, Dean. "  
"Wait, I've never heard anything about angels knowing everything. Isn’t God the only omniscient one?"Sam said, confused.  
"Shhhuuuuush... Castiel whispered in a conspiratorial way.  
"Why?" Sam replied.  
"I have to listen to the silence."  
"But..."  
"Shhhhhhhhhh..."  
Fifteen minutes passed in silence, then Castiel startles everyone by saying;  
"Dean and I have to have a little talk. In private. Even though I do know everything."

Sam listened through the keyhole (of his own door). This is what he heard:  
"Sam thinks you are very pretty and hot and handsome."  
"I know, I know everything. Make sure to tell him I really appriciate that. But he wasn’t the only one to say that, you know. "  
"I had drunk chocolate milk, I was not thinking clearly!"  
"I know, Dean. I know everything. "  
A smoching sound was heard. Sam wondered where it had come from.  
”Wait, Cas. We have to go get Sam. I have some unfinished bussnies with him."  
”Sam! You can come in now. And by the way, I know everything.” Castiel called.  
When Sam had entered the room, he could see there was pie-crumbs on Castiel’s cheek.  
"OMG! Dean! You gave HIM pie?! Is it because he is Columbos younger clone? Every time I tried to ask you if a could have some of your pie, you would just stare at me angry, and try to bite me in the hand."  
"Sam! Don’t embarrass me in front of the angel."  
"You can not embarrass yourself in front of me. I alredy know everything. "  
"I have to go to bed, all this pie has made me so Dean” (”Dean” is now a state of mind).  
”Castiel, come with me”, Dean yawns.  
"I know everything."  
"Yes, yes, I know,”  
”Good night.", Sam says.  
"Good night.”  
"I know everything."

Later that evening, Sam was lying on his bed, thinking out loud.  
"I am a demon, but you care more about pie and fanfics than about that."  
He had distantly heard Dean scream ”PIIIIIEEEEEEEE” in the backgroun.  
”I knew it”  
And with those words, Sam fell asleep, and in the same moment as Sam did so, Castiel shouted; "I KNOW EVERYTHING!" from some unknown place.

The End.

(and, the answear is no)


End file.
